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Circular Love


Courtesy - Google Images

"So you can add this to the list of things only you and I know" said Satish and Anu looked up from his shoulder with her wide beautiful eyes. Those were like restless blacktip reef sharks; scanning his eyes in horizontal motion. Without saying a word She slid down a little, kissed his bare chest, rested her head on it. He knew what it meant; it meant - "I love you", that "I am closer to you than anyone else in this world", that "she will shed a lone tear of joy" wetting his barren chest and then kiss it again to make it wetter. Yet he tilted his head to direct his gaze on her saffron tinted hair partition and asked with a puzzled tone, "What?" He knew this will make her happier and it made him feel like the creator of happiness. Had he just reflected his understanding of her emotion then it would mean he had deciphered her, She is a simple being whose emotions are deciphered easily and then her mysterious nature is lost. The relationship from then on becomes stale and no more interesting. So Satish played along and asked her again, this time more a cajole than a puzzled bewilderment, "What?" She shook her head which made the single tear she had concealed and controlled till now to fall off her eyelids like the single dew drop in the morning grass that bends the blade of the grass with its weight and perseverance to be dropped off into the earth, its rightful place. He did not press any further but just smiled and kissed her head again, squeezed her closer to him. He knew, that is all that she wanted and acted like he had preserved the mystery about her lone tear while the fact is he knew it.

Their game was flagged off, without any balloons, crackers, flashy dancers or gymnasts, a simple beginning to a complex life together. Satish and Anu had a simple wedding so that they can save money for this luxury called home. Satish had refused the home that Anu's father offered and instead bought this humble home in the suburbs. It was normal days over the week for Satish who was a professional photographer. His work load was jagged and he defines his work as he usually freelances a lot. Photography also helped him in his Personal life as he seldom spoke and Anu loved him for that. She knew he understood everything and still didnot have to use words to describe it in real life as in his profession. 

However Anu felt something weird about the house. She could not call it a home yet as something was disturbing her. She felt like she is being constantly watched over and she even searched the entire house for any hidden cameras. Not that she did not trust Satish but she was wary of his practical jokes of clicking what she considered to be ugly photos of her. One day she felt like a pair of gleaming eyes were fixated on her, from a far off land someone was watching her. Aliens are an alien concept to her, "but anything is possible these days" she thought to herself. Satish dismissed this by joking about how she is now missing her family and that girls are never satisfied with her husband alone. Anu would smack him with a roti stick or a spatula whichever is nearer and Satish again had to act like he is hurt. But this insecure feeling was growing despite the best efforts by Satish to rubbish it. It was too much to bear when she refused to open the windows, shades or worst of it all she wanted to keep the light going in nights. To Satish this was ridiculous and he tried reasoning it with her. Anu was thinking Satish has grown insensitive to her feelings and Satish was getting too frustrated to play the loving and caring husband. 

Anu could no longer take this growing feeling of insecurity and called her dad. Within no time her dad had collected all the particulars about the building and the neighbors, the construction contractor, the land ownership the previous owners etc. To his horror he found that the house has been constructed after demolishing a ladies hostel. The hostel was notorious for the suspicious deaths more than two decades ago. Unclaimed and unregistered skeletons were found in the compound when the construction had began. When the facts came out it was horrible and unbelievable. One of the reasons why the land and home came cheap was the negative publicity that it had garnered over a decade ago. However, like many things in India, this too was then forgotten and gone with the wind. Anu's dad was furious, more with him than with Satish, for letting them take this house. He was offering them a duplex in a very posh area in the city and thought he should have tried more to convince Satish. After all, his only daughter is now bearing the brunt for the mistake he and Satish had committed. It killed him to see his daughter this way - haggard and worn out. He ordered Satish to vacate this house and move into the one he has got for them. 

For Satish though, this is a matter of self-respect than it is of ego and he places his self respect beyond anyone living in this world. Had it been ego it would have been easier to forego ,than self-respect, for the love of his life. No one could understand this simply because they were not Satish. They had different ideals, different way of life, different view of the world. Anu was torn between the two most important people of her life. It was not so much black and white as it is for her father or Satish. It was all grey, she thinks with her heart and it would beat once for Satish while the other time for her dad. Anu's dad realised that this fight is only deteriorating Anu, apparently for whose welfare he was fighting it for. So he proposed a compromise, he would bring in a priest to do some ceremony to get rid of the bad spirits that is following his daughter. Though the rational part of Satish was hurt, he was ready to let go of his rationality for Anu. This was a fair and far better deal than leaving this house which would have destroyed his self-respect.

An auspicious date was fixed and the priest arrived with his cronies to perform the ceremony which costed them more than their wedding. But he did not mind as long as he was not bothered to recite any mantras. It was a business, this spiritual ceremony, and anything can be arranged as per customer's specifications. Satish was indeed not involved in this irrational activity. He had to take the day off though, which was no big deal for him. In fact it gave him the chance to witness this funny custom and make fun of it later, when everything was over. He was in his bedroom reading snow leopard by Peter Matthiessen, for the tenth time, when something caught his eye. A small glint, a shine of reflection of the sun, a twinkle. It was there just for a second and then it disappeared. Without any sudden movement he casually flipped his book to the side flung himself out of bed and went to the other room. He asked Anu to go to the bedroom to get his book and he watched from the window of the other room. He caught it again and this time he was sure from where it came. The reflection of the sun from a telephoto lens, for a trained photographer's eyes, was not difficult to catch in broad daylight. He should have taken a day off earlier, he now felt. Anu returned with the book. He made an excuse of the smoke inside the house and that he is going out for fresh air. 

When he returned, he had a broken lens and a camera in his hands; a drop of tear and blood on his knuckles. The puja had done its work! No more stalking eyes, no more worry about Anu's fear. The priest was indeed powerful! That night Satish was happy and Anu was relaxed. Anu was resting her face on his shoulder and listening to Satish who narrated the entire episode and then he said "So you can add this to the list of things only you and I know"

The Low Entrance


(Pic courtesy: Arul Jegadish on Flickr)
"இன்னொà®°ு à®®ுà®±ை à®®ாà®™்காய் பறிக்ரத பாà®°்த்தேன், ஆடிட்டு இருக்கிரத வெட்டி காக்கைக்கு போட்à®°ுவேன், ஜாக்கிரதை" ("Once more I catch you and you will be dead! Do you hear me? The crows have been asking me for something soft and I think just yours would suit them") the angry old woman was shouting at the top of her voice, but it felt like it came from a far place. Shakthi's thighs clenched involuntarily and his lips curled into a smile and his body was shaking. Not because of the fear of losing it but he was in a potholed road that made even his sophisticated car rickety. He is returning to his native after 15 years. It amused him that the taunt from the old neighbour was the thing that was fresh in his memory or at least that was the first thing that came to his mind. He has had loads of happy memories, adventures that were exciting, activities that were exhilarating. While in school he visited his native once in a year and it was a grand event for him. 

Final exam of every annual year was the most exciting time. His mom will be busy from the afternoon preparing food for the overnight journey, sweets for the relatives and the whole affair of packing brings a whole level of chaotic festive mood. After an overnight journey in a bus from their place, they have to undergo a 5 hour arduous journey to reach their native. But none of this hardship ever bothered him rather they looked forward to 40 days of pure pristine stay peppered with love and care from the entire populace there.

As a kid, this was a trip that earned Shakthi a superstar status in school every academic year. "Shakthi, please read your excellent essay about your summer vacation to the class." sang the English teacher and it did not stop there. "Shakthi why don't you pass around the insect and plant leaf collection from summer vacation." said the Science teacher. "Shakthi will share with us the cultural festival of his village" thundered the social science teacher. Add to this the "cool" activities he did in his village and he was every kid's friend. He was the leader of his group in his school and residential locality. He enjoyed this status in the city and hence he loved his village that gave him that status. But after all, Shakthi is a kid. He had his share of complaints about the village. There was no tap in the toilet; in fact there wasn't a proper toilet. It was open bathrooms or river. He sure did love to swim in the river or be in the river but not always. The houses were crowded and cramped with low roof which made it difficult to sleep inside the house in the night due to the heat. While the starlit sky and the stories from all the elders were wonderful, the mosquitoes did bother him.

However, he never showed this to any of the people there. Everyone on the road was his grandpa, uncle, brother, sister, aunt. He showed respect and love and it fascinated them that such manners came from a town boy. He was happy and proud that he could fascinate such elders which prompted an even more careful behaviour from him. It was a vicious circle something like bribery or addiction. Every second person in the village wanted to claim him as their own and they would get started with, "Your dad was not like you, he was very naughty. You know, once he came to our house and..." Shakthi was used to such openings and he was only eager for more. These were stories about his naughty father with liberal amounts of white lies thrown in to make it more exciting. But unfortunately time has cruel twists in a man's life. Some very complicated like a broken relationship or death and some very simple and straight forward like, growing up. After his eighth grade he neither had the time nor the intention to make the arduous journey to his wonderland. In a time when the world was moving at the speed of light and information was being transmitted literally at the speed of light his wonderland has become archaic for him. It no longer evoked the same reaction or emotion in him. 

Now, fifteen years later, Shakthi is a successful business man. He owns his chain of restaurants in the metros that is spreading the goodness of a cuisine that he truly reveled in his childhood. His native has given him many things and the cuisine was just a small tangible part. This was his way of repaying. He is sponsoring this year's village festival and he was very proud of it. The entire village proclaimed him as the son of soil, the guy who was "Firmly tied to his roots." It was no more the simple no frill love but a fan fare. Crowd was gathering around his now dust covered car and his gadgets. The angry old woman who threatened him was no more and he conveyed his condolences to her son. In all this demi-god reception and frenzy there was one person who was unhappy. One person who was not pleased with what he was seeing. Shakthi's paternal uncle Pazhanivel.A man in his sixties was his adventure guru when Shakthi came to his native. Pazhani periappa (uncle) had taught him how to swim, how to fish and most importantly how to climb a tree. Shakthi's visit will not be complete without a visit to Pazhani periappa's home. After overseeing the preparation and putting up his banners and securing the flag pole he strolled towards periappa's home. 

It was still the same, with a long cemented courtyard for drying the harvest that extended into a cow shed. End of the shed was the so called toilet which has now been renovated but did not have running water, nevertheless. The low roof and the entrance gave it a look of yurt, just that this was permanent and not circular. Periappa was not to be seen in his rope cot in the courtyard by the shades of the big neem tree beside the well. "Who is that? Shakthi?" inquired a voice from inside. Even though the voice was feeble, it conveyed a loving and longing soul. "Yes periappa" said Shakthi and entered the building. May be because of his town penthouse or his eagerness to meet his periappa, Shakthi forgot that the entrance was low and bumped his forhead into it. But he is a grown star of the village and only gasped before he entered the house, rubbing his forehead vigorously with this palm. Pazhani noticed this and sniggered. He asked, "Do you know why I have not remodelled the entrance?" Shakthi was puzzled and mildly annoyed at such a question, he expected a little more concern from his periappa. He just shook his head. "As we grow in life we all forget who we are and start to live the life of others. The life others describe for us and want us to live for them. You see, like the film stars. You start to lose focus of who you are and forget humility. I have my entrance low to tell everyone to enter this place with humility. It is the place of our ancestors, this village. I think we need to show it a bit more respect." Pazhani said without any trace of spite but with all the love and tenderness he could muster. Shakthi was taken by surprise and even felt ashamed of his posters that bordered narcism. While people thought he was tied to his roots he was actually digging his roots. Deep within he did everything just to enjoy the fanfare, the praises and adulation. His periappa just pulled his mask away and he felt naked without it. He was with his periappa for a little more than an hour but only he knew he was not there.

Stool & The Mango

I am Raj, 25 year old male and I am going to end this life! No not the age old suicide that you are thinking about. I am going to end this life and start a new one. No, I don’t believe in second birth either and that is not the new life that I am talking about as well. No... I mean… Wait till I complete my story please. Good.

The Magazine Test

Everyday in the newspaper, news channels and every medium that you can think of you will see at least one news about an individual cheating or defaulting or doing some act of crime or shame. It depresses me how men can fall so low for something as temporary as money or power. It is not that we have not done any act of crime or shame in our lives ever. We have. At least I am sure I have done it.But as leaders in their own right we expect them to take the wiser choice.Where is ethics? Here is an anecdote from my life which gave me a powerful decision making tool. It was pretty useful especially when in a dilemma :)

THE DAWN

The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you…the dawn is coming. -- From "The Dark Knight"
Here is a story that I conceptualized during college days. I wrote it only now, inspired by the above line.

Pic courtesy: Yuga from flickr
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