"Suicide is not a solution to any problem" is the noble thought behind the Dhanush, Shruti Hassan starrer - 3. I would have been grateful to the director, Aishwarya R Dhanush, had it remained a thought and did not materialize as a real world movie! I would recommend this movie only if you have lost everything in life; then again, I might say "Get a life dude!" 

The movie starts in the present time where Dhanush is no more and Shruti is a grieving widow. But who is Dhanush? Who is Shruti? Who are everyone crying for the loss of this guy? All these questions are answered through an interlude flashback. The flashback does start with a huge promise and the stars breeze their way through the first half. Shiva Karthikeyan has done a great cameo that will make Santhanam a little jittery! A worthy competitor for Santhanam is on the anvil. We will have to wait and watch how Shiva carries his career forward. Dhanush and Aishwarya have done very well in their innocent teen roles in the flashback and the irrational puppy love that they share has been very well made. The sequence where Aishwarya goes to Tirupathi and the separation makes the couple go mad might strike a chord with the youngsters. No one can ask Aishwarya what was different in her movie. She has special aces up her sleeve just for this question.  One of the aces is the marriage happening in a pub! I mean, why? This is when the director decides to give a break. A hope blooms that things will continue and I won't feel so bad for spending 250 bucks on the ticket. The director has other plans for minions like me. I went out and come back with loads of popcorn, eagerly waiting for the second half to begin. 

I am now eager to see the super excellent romantic sequences. Again, here is the second ace, the mother of all aces. The second half is not about their life at all! It is about how Dhanush died. Now, you will think Dhansuh's death must be somehow connected to their life, the way they lived it or something. Minions!! You are all wrong! In the second half they took me through a meaningless roller coaster ride of Dhanush and Shruti crying at various pitches and locations. Then just like how a mokkai speaker hogs all the air time and then says, "Without much further ado..." the director also finishes the movie abruptly. Maybe she thought that was her way of causing a lump in our throats. Caused a lump she did, but not because of her movie but because I  realized I have been tricked!

Debut Musician Anirudh shows a lot of promise in songs like Kannazhaga and throughout the first half with his BGM. However, in the second half he is overshadowed by Shruti with her crying BGM and he takes a back seat. At least after seeing the "Why This Kolaveri Di" song, I hope people will allow it to RIP and I strongly recommend they do the same with any thought that arises to watch this movie. This movie is best described by any 1990s Indian cricket team chasing a target. They start well but then lost not just steam but also their sanity mid-way through and then laugh derisively at the audiences who have wasted their time and money. End of it all I have only two questions for the director – “Why the name 3?” and “Why (this kolaveri di)?” 

In the end, when the message of the movie is flashed across the screen I wondered if it is the director asking me not to commit suicide after watching the movie. As a good friend, I advise you to not even think about watching this movie. But if get a free ticket because you bought two juices at the karumbu juice kadai and happen to go for the movie then get out after interval. Save yourself!

This season is the happiest for everyone and I like happy times. Businesses are happy about the boom in sales, Parents are happy about getting their kids "settled" and kids are happy for having found the right match. Coming to think about it, everyone is actually optimistic about the future and I like optimistic thinking as well. However, in all the euphoria about the rosy future we still drag along a demon from the past which has no relevance, according to me, in the modern world. The demon is haunting me right now and what actually got me thinking about it was an interaction with one of my batch mates. This guy recently tied the knot with his girl friend and I met him for lunch as his office was near mine. We had worked together in the same committee while at Lucknow and knew quite a bit about each other. As usual the conversation started with a pointless, useless question when my friend asked me, "So when are you getting married?" I took a casual sip from my glass of carbonated poison and shrugged my shoulders. He persisted, "Arey! Tell me, saale. By now your parents must have started the hunt" He referred to the bridal hunt, which every Indian youth is aware of, as if it were the latest Roadies audition. I nodded in agreement accompanied with a wry smile. He continued, "Look, even if you go one chain lower in your FB friend list you will be able to find a suitable girl. I am sure!" I coughed up the poison that I was drinking and started laughing. Just because he has had a fairy tale wedding it cannot be that he has no clue about the system. The system of arranged marriage, which I call, deranged marriage. Initially followed by the western royal families who have now moved away from it to change according to changing times. While this practice is now prevalent in their colonial states. Intelligent buggers these colonialists!

As a dutiful friend and a co-societal being I explained the process to him. When I finished the entire process, especially the one that pertains to a traditional south Tamilnadu family, he was wide eyed in disbelief and gulped his poison, thanked his stars that he was not subjected to this torture. 


Of all the steps involved in a deranged marriage, what I find the most amusing is that you should only get married to a girl from your own caste and some parents even go into sub-castes, sub-sub castes etc. I have no clue how many levels they have. I have earlier in my old blog (which is defunct now) talked about why we should question the relevance of some practices in today's life. While we evaluate technology and adopt as per changing needs and time but refuse to do that with customs and rituals is a blinker. Let me tell you why I think the caste based marriage made sense for my ancestors but no more appeals to me. 

Why it made sense to my ancestors - 

Caste system in its inception, as narrated to me by history books and wiki, was a classification based on the work you do; in essence the skill you possessed. So a Brahman's son could end up being a Kshatriya while a Kshatriya's son could end up being a baniya etc. Also, even town planning was done in a way that all the people with related skills stayed together. This is further corroborated by several street names that exist even today. This not only made societal sense in terms of easy planning of town and facilities required in an area but also business sense in terms of clustering. 

Now, what does this tell me? Guys and girls from the same caste were in close proximity and had enough chance to interact with each other, observe each others' response to situations and other people. It gave them time and opportunity to evaluate each other. Also, the girls in the same caste understood the work life of her partner because she sees it day in and day out. She understands the difficulties, the opportunities, the up side and downside. So, it made sense for the same caste guy and girl to come together and say I understand you and I think we can make our lives easier, more pleasant and make it a journey worthwhile to be made together. 

Why it makes absolutely no sense to me - 

Slowly the caste system got corrupted in India. No surprises there! Any system in India is susceptible to corruption just like how any iron is susceptible to rusting. It is only a matter of time in both the cases. So it just took some time for the greedy Kings and ministers who wanted their sons and daughters to be with them. So they made caste system birth based rather than merit based. Then again, time wreaked havoc and we are in a state where it is a kichdi of the previous eras. While caste is based on birth, the work I do is not. The logical relationship between caste and work is abolished while the illogical relationship between caste and birth is still withheld. So, to find a partner in this kichdi world is to get married to a stranger who by birth is in the same caste which makes no sense to me. 

I find it logical for a guy to marry a girl from the same profession. Though this is not necessary, I find it at least appealing. But the idea of marrying a girl about who you have no idea is appalling. If you guys find any relationship between the castes of the guy/girl to get married to one another, please let me know! I will at least change the title of this post if you convince me.

Tackling a big problem, on which everyone has an opinion about and most have an emotional attachment to, even in a big book is tricky. There will be chapters which you have exactly the opposite view than the one that the author has taken. You might opine that the author has made a mountain out of a mole hill in certain other chapters. But the author has presented his view and smartly put into a form where you have the choice to skip the chapter if you want. So I don't really see this as a disadvantage but only a minor hiccup. From my personal experience, I found the boring chapters were in the middle and I could not help but yawn and switch off my reading lights. This was one of the most time consuming books for me. It took me almost three months to finish this book. Mumbai's traffic and commute did not help much either. Another important factor is that you run out of nostalgic moments somewhere in the middle of the book and the boring present starts to take over. These were the pages I found the most difficult to coast through because I am confused where this country is presently headed to while the author definitively tries to pave a path. At least he is clear about what he is talking.

As I had told you guys before reaching Mumbai, I had been to the islands of Thailand and met people from other countries. During these encounters I realized that though every human being is unique, there are lessons we can take from everybody we meet and apply it in our lives. So here are some of my interesting observations:

Everybody has problems - If you know me personally, then you know how much I desist the Indian way of "settling down". While your parents will want you to be unique early in your school days and the trophies you bring home for poetry and elocution is much appreciated, it is never seriously viewed. It is to be written in the "hobbies" section of your resume. The main part of your resume is supposed to follow the routine route of Professional Education --> Work --> MBA --> Work --> Marry --> Home and Car --> Kids -- Die! I thought or was led to believe by the books and Hollywood movies that my counterparts in the western hemisphere have a better life! But I was proved wrong by Danielle, a 20 something English girl who was an accountant in a firm and quit her job because it became "too much". She narrated her woes in life and the pressures the society in UK puts on an individual. Her next career move, according to the society and her family should be to get an MBA, then get married and settle down in life. But she wants to be a writer and volunteer in the education space. I was totally flabbergasted! It was a story like any other Indian's only that she was super cute and had an English accent! 

Get real. Get experience - I had to walk over 5 Km to get to the highest viewing point on Koh Tao - my most favorite spot in Thailand. The viewpoint was called Nangyuan Terrace and was actually a part of a resort. As a PR move the resort had allowed free access to the public and right at the ledge of the viewpoint is a restaurant overlooking the beautiful atoll Nang Yuan which is a popular day trip among visitors. It is here that I met David - A guy from England who lost his job with Barclays Capital. He is travelling and trying to find a job in SE Asia as the economy here is touted to be better. While talking to him topics about India and its culture came up. He was very curious to know how the marriage system works and the role that gold plays in the marriage and hence the economy. He even tutored me about the economic impact at which point I yawned more than I nodded. And then he revealed that he does not even have a degree which made me almost jump off the cliff! Looking at my expression and my open mouth he explained further - "Unlike India, in the western hemisphere you need experience. Your certificate does not hold any value for a job application unless you have worked in the industry. If you want to change your sector and find a new career or even an alternate career, then get real, get some experience and work your way up. I started 7 years ago as a back office analyst and now I have been fired as a consultant" 

Exposure is reality - We often come across westerners in weird, unique, different careers and wonder how they had even thought about becoming what they were. I kind of figured out the answer to this question while exploring the beautiful reefs of Koh Tao. My dive instructor was a guy named Toby and he was all of 20 years. While it amused me to no end that he was an instructor at such a young age, it irritated him that I was amused by his age. Shamelessly, I kept prodding about how he knew that this was what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. He said he was exposed to diving at 15, the minimum age for you to be certified, and got hooked to it. He has been diving ever since and took up the instructor course at 18, again the minimum age to start, and became an instructor at 18! In India rarely do we get such exposure to a variety of professions. Rarely do we travel to other nations to give a different experience to our children. If there needs to be change in the way we look at life and career it is not enough if we swap marks for grades and give prizes for everyone. Rather, I would say make competition mandatory but the basis of competition must be different depending on the student. For that you need to expose him and bring to his cognition that there are alternate avenues available. 

Do nothing - We Indians have a compulsive need to be doing something. While we plan our holidays we plan for "activities" to be done and sights to be seen. If there were not enough things to do then we label the place as "Not so good". "It was fun but there is nothing to do beyond a day in Kodaikanal and it gets boring." Such statements are testimonial that we have lost the power to extract happiness in doing nothing and just enjoying each others' company! We need a boat ride or a monkey falls or at least a children's park to enjoy the holiday. But travelling and doing nothing during a holiday is awesome. Its fun! All through this entire sojourn I had so little to do and I enjoyed it! I did not have a "must see" place that I was anxious not to miss out or a "must try" activity that I desperately wanted to try. I did nothing but laze around the beach, read a book and eat at the local coffee shop. I simply loved it!

Confusion - After all this, I was confused! What am I doing? Am I doing the right thing? But confusion is good. Confusion leads to good conclusions. 




This post has been entered for the expedia travel competition in indiblogger.